It was the first day of school, and when I went into my Global Ed class, a kid was sitting behind me named Dan. That was my name. I looked at him, and for some odd reason, I just didn’t like his face. It somewhat angered me. I had to do something about this new found foe, and war was the only option. I quickly rallied up some troops and gave the announcement that there would be a great battle against the one they called Dan. I told them that we take no prisoners, and show no mercy. I pulled out my lance and M16 and shot 3 shots into the air, and gave a vicious war cry, and my troops cried out in response. Suddenly, one of my troops fell dead. “WHAT?!?!?!?!” I cried in astonishment. “They shoot without warning.”
“Actually sir,” one of my troops said “it was those bullets that you shot into the air”
“Oh,” I said “carry on.” So we geared up, and entered the battlefield. The one the call Dan was standing in the middle of the field. I walked up to the giant, and said, “So the rules are clear?”
“Yes” he replied”no kicking, scratching, or hair pulling”
“Super” I said,” let’s do this.” We backed up about 30 yards, and then each of us charged. We met on the battlefield, and the fighting began. I saw the one they call Dan picking people up and eating them. I swung wildly with my lance and pumped some of Dan’s soldier’s full of led. Soon, everyone on the field was dead or injured. The only ones left were me and my foe. I pulled my Desert Eagle out of my pocket, and he pulled out a Glock. We both closed our eyes and started firing blindly. When it was done, neither of us had been hit. We both threw our arms up and put each other in a bear hug. He dragged me to the ground and I started slapping him.
“Wait,” I stopped slapping him,” why are we fighting again.”
“I don’t know” he said.
“Alright” I said, “hey, want to go get some lunch.”
“Sure” he said.
So we got up, hugged, and walked away with leprauchauns dancing around us majesticly
